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Martin Koren | Behind the scenes
Column written by Martin Koren

Hey ya’ll,

I’m writing my Bachelors thesis, almost finished, and looking forward to take a good shit once its done. I realize that I have more to go than I thought and decide I really need to go. I search for something to read but I want some freestyle context. I want a story… I search through the sites and realize, that no one of us is writing much real life experiences from around the sport. So I decide I would like to share a very queer experience with you.

I did a show a few weekends back with Romain Izzo and Remi Bizouard. It was great fun as shows are and riding with these two guys is heck of a dose of motivation. We finish the show, pack up, get our stack (I got the biggest file of cash since I was paid out with 10 Euro bills), and headed direction Marseille.

Me and Remi decided that visiting a spa and sauna center would be a great idea. Remi calls the operator and the guy sends him 10 contacts via sms. We head to the first place. Damn, its closed on Sundays. Wanting to relax and actually not having anything better to do, we decide to call the next number. I don’t understand anything French, so i always had to ask Remi what’s up. Remi said, that the guy said it was open, but was very strange. He said that it could be open until 10, 11 how ever we want. That’s not usual, but a nice service.

So we entire the destination in the navigation and head out. Im driving, since Remi lost his license, and pass the place several times. Damn navi screen is small and shit happens, any way, we find a parking place and walk to the place with the nav in our hands. We finally find the place after 600m and enter into the nice green door with XY on the entrance. Remi does the talking and we get some flip-flops for our feet. Hygiene is important.

We walk through a door to the locker rooms. Behind the corner, i see a shop kind of thing selling underwear… hmmm… looking kind of tight. We change and look around. Remi says, that the guy at the reception said, that we are there almost alone and that the guy said there is one more person somewhere inside.

Cool, place almost all to ourselves. As we are changing, we notice the posters on the walls… there’s only guys on the wall. What’s wrong with this? We head to the sauna and see a sign at the entrance… ONLY MEN, sauna, relax, video, something, something. What the fuck? We are in a gay place… No no no…  there must be a place with only women… but the other entrance didn’t say anything but what was inside… Hamam, relax, video, bar and something else. So we enter the sauna entrance. On the right were small sauna’s and on the left little booth’s. It was really dark and the atmosphere we didn’t want to accept was created by a red light.

I check out the both about 1.5 by 2m big. The floor was a leather mattress. Shit, this really is a gay place. We get scared and head out back to the lockers. Fuck man, what are we going to do. This is so bad. We decided it was late and that we are there alone anyways. We went back, did our 20 min of sauna and talked about the situation.

I got out earlier and while i cooled down, i decided to take a peak around, but didn’t feel safe walking far. Around the corner was the video. In 2 seconds i saw more than i wanted. I have to save the details, because it probable wouldn’t be posted here, but it was a very hard gay porno. That was the final piece to the proof of reality.

Damn, it was time to get the hell out. On the way, we were approached by a guy kinda giving us the eye if we are interested. I’m not gonna lie. We were scared. We fastened our steps, walked far away around. At the lockers, we saw another guy going down the stairs to the other entrance in tight underwear I mentioned before. On his ass he had a lions head. In the end checking out, we realize… yes… we were in a gay swingers club. Only excuse we’ve got is… We really didn’t know.


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